A grandmother wrote to share her struggles with her son and daughter-in-law (DIL), who frequently took advantage of her kindness by expecting her to babysit their children.

Things escalated when they demanded she babysit on Christmas so they could attend a party, ignoring her own plans for a long-awaited trip with friends.
When she refused, they accused her of being selfish, claiming “normal grandmothers” prioritize grandchildren over personal plans. Hurt by their entitlement and criticism, she snapped, saying, “If you can’t handle being parents, maybe you shouldn’t have had kids.” This led to a heated argument, with the couple cutting contact and forbidding her from seeing her grandchildren.
Now, she’s asking for advice on how to set boundaries without creating more family drama. Balancing familial love and personal freedom is never easy, but open communication and clear boundaries are key to resolving childcare expectations and fostering respect